{"id":205,"date":"2004-03-20T04:32:37","date_gmt":"2004-03-20T03:32:37","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=205"},"modified":"2004-03-20T04:32:37","modified_gmt":"2004-03-20T03:32:37","slug":"but-uh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/julietterobert.com\/blog\/2004\/03\/20\/but-uh\/","title":{"rendered":"– but-uh…"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n– hey…
\n– hey.
\n– i know it’s kinda late…but felt like callin’…
\n– good to hear ya.
\n– how’re ya ?
\n– fine, yeah…uh, fine. ya ?
\n– good too here…hm..yeah, good.
\n– …
\n– so..uh…what up ?
\n– dunno. stuff. y’know, the usual. i guess. ya ?
\n– huh, work y’know. and-uh, yeah, kinda the same…actually.
\n– yeah… i see.
\n– am i…disturbin’ ?
\n– no no, *chuckle* not at all…’s’ok.
\n– good. i know it’s late…but…i just felt huh…
\n– …like callin’…?
\n– *chuckle* yeah. hope i ain’t botherin’ too much with my curiosity, y’know…
\n– *laugh* no, guess it wouldn’t be like you, eh ?
\n– *laugh* no. guess not. but you don’t say much anyway, do ya ?
\n– hmm…no. not really.
\n– …
\n– …but what can i say, huh ?
\n– dunno. whatever. watcha wanna tell ?
\n– uh. dunno…i’m worn out…
\n– how’s that ?
\n– dunno…just worn out…exhausted…it’s all – uh – hard to tell, dunno really how i feel…’f’you wanna know the truth…
\n– hmm…y’never know how ya feel…
\n– yeah.
\n– …
\n– and-uh…y’know, the balance, ‘s’hard to keep it, keep control, y’know, that balance…
\n– i see…yeah…your extremes…
\n– yeah…’s’funny though…cuz-uh…i don’t really think ’bout it, most of the times, ‘s’just the way i get by, y’know…uh…’s’not that it keeps me awake or anythin’, but-uh…*sigh*
\n– …
\n– yeah…feels like, huh…dunno…’m’on the verge of somethin’…
\n– like what ?…
\n– like i dunno…
\n– like what ??
\n– dunno like what…y’ask, ‘n i’m tryin’ to think…
\n– think ’bout what ?
\n– ev’rythin’…ev’rythin’ i possibly can…y’know, it all bounce in my head, ‘n mix up, ‘n-uh…
\n– ‘n it scares ya huh ?
\n– yeah…pretty much…’s’not so much a matter of bein’ scared, y’know, but-uh…’s’just how to keep control of it…direct it…
\n– why d’ya wanna be in control all the times ?
\n– huh…dunno…guess i fear not bein’ in control of my fear…*chuckle*
\n– …’t’least it makes ya laugh…
\n– *chuckle* yeah…guess it’s gotta make someone laugh ’bout it…
\n– …
\n– …
\n– ‘n what else ?
\n– huh…’t’d be too long to tell ya…
\n– got time…
\n– *sigh* dunno what else…not sure i wanna tell ya all…’m’so tired most of the times…so tired…
\n– ‘f’what ?
\n– ‘f’bein’ tired i guess…
\n– y’should sleep…
\n– yeah…guess i should…
\n– …
\n– … guess i should sleep for a hundred years, y’know, ‘n wake up ‘n start it all over again…huh…like fresh…like new… dunno…
\n– but you can’t…
\n– no…
\n– …
\n– i can’t do that…*sigh*
\n– …so ?…
\n– huh…dunno…i empty my head anyway i can, y’know…feels good enough for now…
\n– yeah…i know the feelin’…
\n– been here before, eh ?
\n– yeah…like you…
\n– yeah, like me…
\n– ‘xcept y’know where you’re goin’, right ?
\n– yeah…maybe…maybe i know…huh…but-uh… watcha do when…when y’ve got but a week to grow up ?… like-uh… dunno, last week of-uh… bein’ like the someone you been livin’ with for like…all your life ?…
\n– huh…guess i can’t give ya any answer…’s’your call to figure that out…
\n– *sigh*
\n– think y’lose yourself in the process ?
\n– dunno…’s’just that-uh… feel pretty much irresponsible ‘n…uncapable…
\n– ‘f’what ?
\n– ‘f’ev’rythin’…can’t learn to take care ‘f’myself in ’bout a week, right ?
\n– ‘n how ya lived until now ?
\n– …huh…don’t ask me…*chuckle*
\n– y’ll be fine…
\n– yeah yeah…like i always am…
\n– no…you will be fine, i mean it.
\n– thanks…
\n– ya should get some sleep…i’ll leave ya now.
\n– yeah…thanks…
\n– promise you will.
\n– can’t do that. but-uh… can try maybe…
\n– *sigh* fair enough…
\n– …
\n– talk to ya soon ?
\n– not too soon…
\n– okay… whenever…
\n– yeah…whenever it’s late enough…
\n– uh…sweet dreams then…
\n– won’t wanna wake up if it’s too sweet…
\n– try to breathe, sometimes…
\n– i will…
\n– bye…
\n– bye. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

– hey… – hey. – i know it’s kinda late…but felt like callin’… – good to hear ya. – how’re ya ? – fine, yeah…uh, fine. ya ? – good too here…hm..yeah, good. – … – so..uh…what up ? – dunno. stuff. y’know, the usual. i guess. ya ? – huh, work y’know. and-uh, yeah, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-205","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-neverwhere"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/julietterobert.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/julietterobert.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/julietterobert.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/julietterobert.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/julietterobert.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=205"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/julietterobert.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/julietterobert.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=205"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/julietterobert.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=205"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/julietterobert.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=205"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}