…like…would you love me better if i…well, no, of course, would you like me better, maybe…would you accept me better if…wouldn’t you ? aww, that’s not true. *shrug* what do you want me to say ? you’re not a fatalist now, are you ? no, that’s right…i mean i don’t have the energy for anything else…so there it is. i just don’t want to go alone…i could a few years ago, now it seems like…i know you’re going to love that. it’s about…i don’t know. adolescence. growing up. like you keep a candle lit at the window and you don’t know what it means. and at the end, it all explodes. always. i don’t know what it means either…so how does it feel ? it just takes so long. so much time. what do you keep in your hands at the end anyway ? i mean at the very end. it’s not that i’m lost. i mean not completely. aww, don’t be silly now. i swear that’s right. i got that sunset you know. i don’t know why…look, it all just seemed to…happen ? something like that. and why not ? but you’ve got time, right ? i don’t know why i didn’t want anything. call it whatever. yes, i do, sometimes…and i still miss that you know…it just would have been a mistake, don’t you like well-done clear mistakes ? maybe senseless, i don’t know. i know i am. are you so blas? about it all ? that’s not the point. it drove me nuts, not surprising if it did to you too. that teaches you humility, i mean you or anyone. do you have any idea how much time it will take ? they always say one at a time, i don’t want that. so ?…i don’t know…the more i want to live, the less i’m able to. what did it do to you ? you’ve changed…i don’t mind, i always end up fucked up anyway. you’ve changed…i mean not completely. so ? i swear that’s right. it just takes so long. i mean at the very end. are you so blas? about it all ? maybe senseless, i don’t know. something like that. it’s not that i’m lost. i could a few years ago, now it seems like…so much time. i don’t know why…that’s not the point. it just would have been a mistake, don’t you like well-done clear mistakes ? aww, don’t be silly now. what do you want me to say ? growing up. i don’t know what it means either. call it whatever. and why not ? i don’t mind, i always end up fucked up anyway. aww, that’s not true. *shrug* so there it is…
soundtrack : brad mehldau – things behind the sun (nick drake cover)
matt le batteur a failli y laisser sa ceinture et ses lunettes.
(comme dirait sarah bettens “faut pas faire le crowdsurf trop, sinon quelqu’un va mourir” :p)
et l? tout d’un coup je me suis retrouv?e dans une vieille salle de classe avec plein de potes, d’ex-potes et d’ex-pas-potes du coll?ge et du lyc?e r?unis. on avait cours de maths niveau cp, on avait tous 24 ou 25 ans, on ?tait tous blind?s d’?tudes mais ?a nous paraissait normal de faire des additions au tableau. bref. j’ai racont? ? tous ceux qui avaient fait ing? comment j’avais arr?t? les maths en bts et comment j’?tais pas du tout concern?e par ce cours naze, d’ailleurs je luttais pour arriver ? suivre. mais le truc qui m’a chiffonn?e quand m?me, c’est qu’on avait tous l’air fatigu?, on avait tous l’air d’avoir 45 balais, et que la prof qui nous faisait cours, c’?tait ma prof d’histoire g?o de 4e, et la salope, c’?tait la seule qui avait pas pris un coup de vieux.
