– hey…
– hey.
– i know it’s kinda late…but felt like callin’…
– good to hear ya.
– how’re ya ?
– fine, yeah…uh, fine. ya ?
– good too here…hm..yeah, good.
– …
– so..uh…what up ?
– dunno. stuff. y’know, the usual. i guess. ya ?
– huh, work y’know. and-uh, yeah, kinda the same…actually.
– yeah… i see.
– am i…disturbin’ ?
– no no, *chuckle* not at all…’s’ok.
– good. i know it’s late…but…i just felt huh…
– …like callin’…?
– *chuckle* yeah. hope i ain’t botherin’ too much with my curiosity, y’know…
– *laugh* no, guess it wouldn’t be like you, eh ?
– *laugh* no. guess not. but you don’t say much anyway, do ya ?
– hmm…no. not really.
– …
– …but what can i say, huh ?
– dunno. whatever. watcha wanna tell ?
– uh. dunno…i’m worn out…
– how’s that ?
– dunno…just worn out…exhausted…it’s all – uh – hard to tell, dunno really how i feel…’f’you wanna know the truth…
– hmm…y’never know how ya feel…
– yeah.
– …
– and-uh…y’know, the balance, ‘s’hard to keep it, keep control, y’know, that balance…
– i see…yeah…your extremes…
– yeah…’s’funny though…cuz-uh…i don’t really think ’bout it, most of the times, ‘s’just the way i get by, y’know…uh…’s’not that it keeps me awake or anythin’, but-uh…*sigh*
– …
– yeah…feels like, huh…dunno…’m’on the verge of somethin’…
– like what ?…
– like i dunno…
– like what ??
– dunno like what…y’ask, ‘n i’m tryin’ to think…
– think ’bout what ?
– ev’rythin’…ev’rythin’ i possibly can…y’know, it all bounce in my head, ‘n mix up, ‘n-uh…
– ‘n it scares ya huh ?
– yeah…pretty much…’s’not so much a matter of bein’ scared, y’know, but-uh…’s’just how to keep control of it…direct it…
– why d’ya wanna be in control all the times ?
– huh…dunno…guess i fear not bein’ in control of my fear…*chuckle*
– …’t’least it makes ya laugh…
– *chuckle* yeah…guess it’s gotta make someone laugh ’bout it…
– …
– …
– ‘n what else ?
– huh…’t’d be too long to tell ya…
– got time…
– *sigh* dunno what else…not sure i wanna tell ya all…’m’so tired most of the times…so tired…
– ‘f’what ?
– ‘f’bein’ tired i guess…
– y’should sleep…
– yeah…guess i should…
– …
– … guess i should sleep for a hundred years, y’know, ‘n wake up ‘n start it all over again…huh…like fresh…like new… dunno…
– but you can’t…
– no…
– …
– i can’t do that…*sigh*
– …so ?…
– huh…dunno…i empty my head anyway i can, y’know…feels good enough for now…
– yeah…i know the feelin’…
– been here before, eh ?
– yeah…like you…
– yeah, like me…
– ‘xcept y’know where you’re goin’, right ?
– yeah…maybe…maybe i know…huh…but-uh… watcha do when…when y’ve got but a week to grow up ?… like-uh… dunno, last week of-uh… bein’ like the someone you been livin’ with for like…all your life ?…
– huh…guess i can’t give ya any answer…’s’your call to figure that out…
– *sigh*
– think y’lose yourself in the process ?
– dunno…’s’just that-uh… feel pretty much irresponsible ‘n…uncapable…
– ‘f’what ?
– ‘f’ev’rythin’…can’t learn to take care ‘f’myself in ’bout a week, right ?
– ‘n how ya lived until now ?
– …huh…don’t ask me…*chuckle*
– y’ll be fine…
– yeah yeah…like i always am…
– no…you will be fine, i mean it.
– thanks…
– ya should get some sleep…i’ll leave ya now.
– yeah…thanks…
– promise you will.
– can’t do that. but-uh… can try maybe…
– *sigh* fair enough…
– …
– talk to ya soon ?
– not too soon…
– okay… whenever…
– yeah…whenever it’s late enough…
– uh…sweet dreams then…
– won’t wanna wake up if it’s too sweet…
– try to breathe, sometimes…
– i will…
– bye…
– bye.