– 1 – get to work in some kind of inevitable shop. like mine, of course. the main point in such a shop is first, to spot Cute Someones (aka « objects of amazement/drooling attacks/hypnosis »), second, to have Cute Someones spot you (which wouldn’t happen if you were, say, an underrated photographer working at home, right ?)
– 2 – finish your day early sometimes (wouldn’t you hate it if you didn’t have the time to get to talk because the shop is closing ?), wait for a coworker busy saying bye to everyone. (it looks optionnal, but it’s definitely not)
– 3 – spot your Cute Someone while waiting. spend five minutes looking just how well this cute ass fits in that cute jeans very casually, like no one will ever notice, which everyone does, of course. spend another five minutes (if your coworker is a big smalltalker) trying to get a glimpse at the face/lips/shoes/whatever.
– 4 – wait for Cutie to turn around and start to leave. get ready.
If Cute Someone recognizes you at this moment, score 1,000 points. (if not, try to recognize Cutie. if you can’t, either put your fate on bad luck, either sigh. or both.)
– 5 – Cutie may be undeniabely cute/gorgeous/CUTE/whatever, but figuring how and why this person knows you is another matter, so i suggest you spend a 1/10 second to play your whole life in your head like a movie in veryveryfast motion. stop the movie at university. second second year. worse class in the world. the Cute Student coming to talk to you for the first (and last) time and telling you that you were fa-sci-na-ting when you made your lecture about The Thin Red Line. you, blushing. Cute Student’s fa-sci-na-ted blue eyes.
superpose the images now. compare. process the results : the same, but hair shorter. voice lower, softer. smile broader.
– 6 – grin.
– 7 – until it hurts.
– 8 – stop grinning like a fool to reply intellegibly to Cutie’s joyful « hey-how-are-you-still-working-here-i’m-still-working-at-the-shop-next-door-and-how-are-
you-i’ve-bought-myself-a-great-video-camera »
– 9 – reply casually like Cutie is a long lost good friend you’ve shared hours of talks and laughs with. « fine, fine, leaving the shop, bla bla bla » (say the maximum information in the less time possible). ask how are Cutie’s studies.
– 10 – give a side glance to your coworker who’s now the one waiting, and mutter between your teeth, still smiling, something like « waitformeupstairsthanks »
– 11 – meanwhile, keep listening to Cutie’s ramblings about wanting to work on movies.
– 12 – time for plan A. first phase.
– 13 – ask, sincerely curious : « oh yeah, what kind of thing are you interested in ? sound ? image ? »
– 14 – wait for the answer : « script », and make yourself look like you’re actually thinking about something else than Cutie’s eyes/lips/ass/shoes/whatever.
– 15 – second phase : « look, i’ve got this friend who’s making a short movie at the end of march, she might still be looking for people, would you be interested ? »
watch Cutie’s eyes and smile become brighter as seconds pass. allow yourself to grin, too.
If Cutie asks your number right at this moment, score 10,000 points. (if not, go to final phase too.)
– 16 – believe strongly that Cutie wouldn’t be interested in just anyone’s project, so this positive answer doesn’t mean at all that you’re on the verge of being used. never doubt sincerely looking blue eyes.
– 17 – final phase : « sure, let me take yours too. i’ll let you know after i ask my friend, i’ll see her tonight. »
– 18 – wait till you have the number in your pocket, till you’ve said bye, see you later, let me know, i’ll call you for sure, till you’re climbing the stairs to pat yourself on the back. man, wasn’t that easy ? :D
any slight or obvious resemblance to actual past or present facts isn’t coincidental at all. everybody knows i don’t believe in coincidences
