j’veux un calin et des nu?es de baisers dans le cou,
ou alors, s’il n’y en a plus,
juste un calin ce serait bien…

(chuis un peu con, ?a fait six mois que j’ai tout cass? le room service et que j’ai pas pris le temps de le r?parer…)

ne pas me forcer.
je suis ? prendre et/ou ? laisser…

Interview at 6.30 pm tonight, and i’m scared shitless.

Not because of the artist i’m interviewing — i say interviewing, because making the simultaneous translation is like making the whole interview, except that the questions aren’t mine — but because i don’t have any talent for that.
Some journalists have this talent, they know how to be interesting, they know how to make a conversation instead of just asking the questions that are on a list. I don’t know if i can do that, i don’t have that particular intelligence and insight, i’m not very very smart, i don’t have the musical culture it requires, i don’t have that particular curiosity on command, even though i’m curious, and i don’t write or think about the music most of the times, i just feel it.
besides, i don’t want to be a journalist, i’m not a writer and i can’t write, it’s bad enough that i can’t write a live report when i’m not inspired to assemble words, even if i loved the show, so why should i pretend to be something that i’m not ?

I wish i didn’t care. I wish i could just translate and ask the dumbest questions without giving a damn, but the fact is that i respect the artists far too much to do that. I don’t want to be just another dumb journalist with my dumb list of dumb questions, if i’m going to do something on a professional level, then i want to be as professional as i can.
If the interview was all mine, if the questions or topics were all mine, maybe i wouldn’t feel like such a retard, maybe i wouldn’t want to turn to the journalist and ask him what the fuck a question is that ?
I have to use diplomacy and i’m no diplomat…

The only thing that really cheers me up, is when the artist or band agrees to make a couple of pictures, these are by far the only moments when i really feel at ease…
As for the rest, i have to deal with it the best way i can, and right now, it’s being scared shitless…

i often wish that i could stay behind a camera all the time when i’m not alone.

it’s not that i want to avoid people,
it’s just that i want to avoid myself…