moleskine update after three months of shooting without fixing my own trace on paper. i’m now looking at images of what seems like a whole different time. back then…well, back then…

i feel like three months ago is back then…

but that isn’t the oddest, though. no, the oddest is to realize that i have now at least a word for each picture i have made, it’s to have a close look at each picture as part of a whole and not just an element of a series, when series are mostly determined by places and times.
the moleskine makes it a whole, i guess.

it was about time that i took a bit of time for myself.
why is it generally when you miss something that you realize its importance in your life ? the place it took, the time you put into it. why is it generally when you find back something that you realize how much you’ve missed it ?
like it doesn’t have an importance in itself. like you have to lose a taste to be able to enjoy it again. like you have to let go a time to cherish the memories you have of it.
is it what we’re all made of ?
is it what we all make our lives of ?
finding and losing and missing and finding again, just so that we can lose and miss again ?

rarely, though, it’s possible to take a step back from the good moments lived and think how precious they are, and know, at that instant, before running again, that they’re going to be unforgettable…
it doesn’t help them not going slowly away, it doesn’t help them not fading slowly out, eventually, everything melts into some blur, eventually everything becomes so distant that i often have the feeling that i’m not living just one life, but that i’ve already lived a thousand…

i’m filling pages with small pieces of pictures and memories.
and soon, i know, there won’t be blank pages of these past months anymore.
but i’m not scared of blank pages, i’m not scared of losing and missing, i’m scared of finding again knowing that it’s only one point on that circle…

en cas de barre de m?tal br?lant qui vous perce les deux yeux, se cogne ? l’arri?re de votre cr?ne et rebondit sur votre front en mena?ant de l’exploser ? chaque coup d?s le matin :
– ne paniquez pas.
– attachez votre ceinture de s?curit?
– faites le noir et restez couch?s pour essayer de s’accommoder des turbulences.
– ?vitez toute d?cision et tout coup de fil.
– ne pensez surtout pas aux 2000 images qui attendent que vous jetiez un oeil dessus.
– d’ailleurs, si ?a dure toute la journ?e, jetez vos yeux par la fen?tre et shootez vous au nurofen jusqu’? altitude de croisi?re.
– ne mettez aucun objet dans l’all?e centrale qui m?ne aux toilettes.

– enjoy the ride. :|

i’m impatient and undecisive.
i can’t stand myself and i’m oversensitive.
i fear rejection and i fear any kind of love even more.
i’m paying a price for something everything i could never have buy.
i can’t move and i’m unstoppable.
i can watch but never be a part of.
i want to be alone but i don’t want to be left alone.
i need to give and i need consideration.
i’m not pretty but i can smile.
i’m self-orientated and i don’t care about myself.

now from here, nothing bad can happen to me.

je serai l? cet apr?m :

donc, j’me disais, si vous voulez profiter du soleil, tout ?a, dans un endroit de fin du monde et de d?but de tout old school, avec voie ferr?es ? l’horizon, le sacr? coeur en haut pas loin et chapiteau en prime…
en tout cas, moi j’y serai, en train de faire mumuse avec mon zap…

There’s spring in the air
They’re sweeping the streets
Wind is a breeze
The sun becomes her he agrees

Where do you live?
Love is a place
Where are you from?
She says, ask yourself ask anyone
What’s holding up her face
Nothing but blue skies
Passage ways the mind’s eye
Contemplates

metric – love is place