i think i’m on the other side.
no, i feel like i’m on the other side. i feel that i’m on the other side.
i’m not sure that it’s a fact, but merely a new sensation.
i think that i’ve waited for it, without knowing it, without knowing how it would come, without guessing how it would feel.
i watch them, i think about them, and i can’t help but feel like i’ve left them behind the line that i’ve crossed.
they’re unchanged, as i am, at the surface, nothing noticeable. nothing yet.
i think i’m a bit sorry that i have to change, when they don’t.
i think i’m a bit sorry that i have to run now, when they don’t.
and i’m a bit sorry that i have to look behind to see them now.
but that’s the way it goes. i know some will rejoin me sooner or later, i know some won’t.
it isn’t about forgetting, it isn’t about not loving, because i love and i don’t forget. it’s feeling uneasy that my cares are far from theirs now, no matter how close we still are.
it’s all the no, i’m working, it’s all the i can’t, i’m busy, it’s all the i’m sorry, but i’m not interested in that anymore…
i don’t want to hurt anyone, but i don’t want to explain.
i’m not alone on the other side, though. i know who they are to be there, further, those who never had to wait for me but keep watching me, watching over me, and help when necessary, those who make their way like i am now…
i’m aware that i sound pretentious here, but i don’t want to be different from any of my friends.
i juste have this feeling that i’m on the other side.
there are a lot of other sides, i know. there are a lot of roads, i know. there is a lot of time before anything, i know, and there will be more waiting, and more hesitations, and more doubts, i know.
still.
when i think about it, to grow up is to grow old, but not always.
to grow up is to choose the road, maybe,
and to grow up is to learn to walk, maybe,
but right now, i feel that to grow up is simply to go on.
now, what about you ?
I knew this feeling years ago, and I left them behind. No anger, no sadness, was a little pity, but… you gotta make your own way knowing it’s gonna be a way without some of them and with other ones… that’s life. go ahead.
life’s a bitch.
life’s beautiful.
well i don’t really kwnow what to think.
should i think as a “with” or as a “without” ..
i’m not even sure i have the right to…(think)
please, be with
if not now,
then later…