i’m exhausted. not physically, but “creatively” this time.
this might be the next thing to learn, being creative on command, having ideas to explore even when three days of stress and hard work have worn me out and drained my imagination and mental images.
precise commands are rather easy to achieve, even when technically challenging, but total freedom is a prison when i’m not completely open to inspiration.
clearly, this is just another phase of changes and acknowledgement of my limits. i tend to distrust afterwards the infallible trust that i’ve put on my instinct when i was making the pictures, even if i don’t remember it being utterly wrong in the past. the rationalization of creation and inspiration doesn’t lead anywhere, but somehow, i wish that it was, even when it would mean that i’d rather trust my brain instead of my guts. but i’m probably not even conscious of it when my brain races as fast as possible to find the good frame and see the good light, but i don’t even have the feeling that i’m making efforts of rational thinking, does it mean that i’m not thinking at all or does it mean that it’s purely instinct by now ?

am i even clear or should i be a hermit for a whole week with the hope to be coherent once again ?