i’ve found the book again.
i wasn’t really going to look for it at first. it had only been the wind of a thought in my mind for a couple of days, but really, why looking for it ? it was in my old closed small chimney, a space I use like a book-case, except that once the books are there, i mostly never go to look for them, it’s too much of a hassle. there aren’t any shelves, just piles and rows of books. in front of that space, there’s a guitar i never use anymore, except a couple of weeks ago when i wanted to play an old leonard cohen song, and there are also boxes and my photo archives on cds, on top of that space, there’s a real shelf and my photo books. there’s also an enlarger in that space and more boxes and a couple of cardboard boxes full of old cameras and a couple of drawers full of old papers and stuff. my room is filled with stuff.
picking any book at the bottom of my “book-case” is a mess. one day, when i’ll stop buying expensive cameras and planning trips, i’ll have a real appartment and real shelves for my books. like in ten years or so.
so i wasn’t really going on a speleology mission to look for that book, i’m that lazy. but this book is curious. i remember i saved some money to buy it, it was expensive for me at the time. it wouldn’t be now, but i like thet fact that it used to be, it’s like i’ll have to make it justice someday or something like that.
i never really needed this book, i thought i did at the time, i persuaded myself i needed it, but i didn’t. i liked to know i had it though, i thought it would become useful one day. this day hasn’t come yet, but i still know it will.
anyway, so i finally went to look for this book. it reminds me a lot of past things, like friends and pictures and a couple of trips and having all the time in the world. it also reminds me of a lot of things i have yet to live. it’s a special book.
i wasn’t really going to look for it, but here it is on my knees. i know the beginning, i know the first chapters. yet i open it on page one.
i’ve found the book again and i’ve got plenty to read till sunrise.